going back to africa

Reunifying African diaspora across the Americas with each other, their pride, history, culture, true homes & identity…

Archive for the tag “black women”

Going the Distance

The old saying, “The end justifies the means” seems to be the most common form of consequentialism used by whites to excuse the behavior of their ancestors. Coupled with the White Saviour Complex, many whites honestly believe that if it hadn’t been for them, the world would be in utter shambles; That almost nothing of significance had taken place among any group of people prior to their so-called myriad of achievements. That their intervention was absolutely necessary & that they made the most contributions to help develop the modern world & that almost every tactic used to do so was vital & that the ‘good’ results far outweighs any perceived ‘bad’ done to reach them.

Those who make these type of claims often will reach beyond the outer ends of the universe to validate them, glossing over, ignoring or oblivious to underlying factors to their ‘truths’. For instance, on the subject of slavery, too often do whites bring up instances of whites being slaves – failing to acknowledge that they still benefit today from the enslavement & following marginalization of blacks vs. no blacks in America having ever received any benefits from the enslavement of whites. Or they’ll try to absolve themselves of any responsibility of trying to help end systemic racism by pointing out that their ancestors had nothing to do with slavery, as if that’s somehow relevant.

Every single white person in America benefits from systemic racism no matter what their ancestors history, or their socioeconomic status. Many whites ancestors came to America for a better life knowing full well what took place to secure these lands & make it a wealthy & powerful country. Yet instead of shaming America & fighting for the people who have been displaced, alienated, dehumanized, exploited & marginalized, they flocked here to take advantage of the freedoms achieved off the genocide & enslavement of those people. They will also mention such in the context of how many other groups of people faced major hardships throughout history who have been able to recover at lightning speeds past what black people have thus far – failing to acknowledge the countless ways in which blacks efforts have been undermined. Quick to remind us that slavery was so long ago, not recognizing that slavery hasn’t really ended in this country, it’s just evolved.

See, for centuries now, whites have had to make these grandiose claims in order to fill their egos & to solidify their false sense of superiority. When most of your entire history, existence & worth has been built up & made powerful off the perceived worthlessness & powerlessness of others, this image of superiority must be upheld by any means necessary to keep those claims valid. One example, to point out that nations all over the globe have had their conflicts & wars, that there are none without a dark past, that still – America is the most just & civilized, yet failing to mention the over 130 wars the US is currently fighting. Quick to point out the warlords & terrorists in other nations, not realizing that we are also the warlords & terrorists occupying & destabilizing others nations. But it’s for the greater good, right? Maybe for white America, not everybody!

America thinks it knows what’s best for everybody, yet only does what’s best for itself at the expense of everybody else. And far too many white Americans believe that they should be praised & that everyone should be thankful for all the freedoms they feel they made possible, instead of acknowledging, praising & being thankful for all the indigenous people robbed & slaughtered, & those who were enslaved & marginalized in order to make modern white American life possible. And far too many like to believe that the worst of what America has done was so long ago, that nobody today should be held accountable, despite the fact they still benefit from those atrocities today. That there are still no limits to the distances whites will reach to maintain their image & validate their privilege.

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Example: This highly disrespectful plaque posted at a Georgia State Park, claiming that white ‘pioneers’ blazed the trail of civilization there, not mentioning the hate, disease, genocide, slavery & other atrocities they blazed to achieve their definition of civil.

One repeatedly used tactic to keep America’s “Good Guy” image is to always claim there’s an entity out to take away or destroy everything that America holds dear, the main thing being freedom. That these entities want to do to America what America has always done & continues to do to others. Over the past nearly two decades, America’s main boogey-men have tended to be Muslim. In the beginning, the focus was mainly regional & mostly on key figures, but lately it’s broadening out to an entire religion & culture whose people make up nearly a quarter of the global population, due to the actions of a few. Now, maybe I am reaching quite a distance myself in pondering the possibilities of some of the great lengths America is going to strengthen the integrity of its image:

I don’t see how the same country who has so many citizens standing behind a person like Donald Trump could have ever elected Obama, let alone twice. I truly believe that Obama was used as a pacifier to shut black people up. To pretend to itself & the rest of the world that we’ve finally transcended race, also using him to shut gays up – to pretend to the rest of the world that we’ve finally transcended our gender & sexuality issues. Now Hillary has be used to try to shut the women up – to make it appear that America is now truly a place where all people are equal & treated as such, despite reality showing us the contrary.

And America still needs its boogey-man to look down upon, to appear holier than thou. Just days after a national broadcast of the funeral of very well-known & respected Muslim man, Muhammad Ali, who sacrificed his freedom to refrain from using violence, a Muslim man attacks America, targeting our gays that America has only very recently started acting like they cared about? The timing is impeccable… America couldn’t let the Muslim community be shed in a positive light for more than a few days. Sorry, but not sorry if I don’t believe that a single gunman, who had just days before purchased the weapons used, was able to become such a skilled gun operator & shooter in such a short time. Or that he was accurate enough to shoot over 100 people without anyone even trying to stop him. That a man under previous investigation by the FBI was not heavily surveilled after making a weapons purchase.

Would America really go that far to push its agendas, to stabilize its image, to keep its ego inflated? Hasn’t it before? And gone even further? To what ends will America go to prove its better than the rest while simultaneously acting as bad as the worst??

White History Month

Every year without fail, during Black History Month, black people catch flack for celebrating, accused of racism for focusing only on black history and accomplishments. Often it’s asked, “Why don’t we have a White History Month?” Well, I thought I’d share something I saw on Facebook, a list of things that should be highlighted during that month, if ever created:
1 Cherokee Trail of Tears
2 Japanese-American internment
3 Philippine-American War
4 Jim Crow
5 The genocide of Native Americans
6 Transatlantic slave trade
7 The Middle Passage
8 The history of White American racism
9 Black Codes
10 Slave patrols
11 Ku Klux Klan
12 The War on Drugs
13 Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo
14 How white racism grew out of slavery and genocide
15 How whites still benefit from slavery and genocide
16 White anti-racism
17 The Southern strategy
18 The rape of enslaved women
19 Madison Grant
20 The Indian Wars
21 Human zoos
22 How the Jews became white
23 White flight
24 Redlining/Gentrification
25 Proposition 14
26 Homestead Act
27 Tulsa Riots/Black Wall Street
28 Rosewood massacre
29 Tuskegee Experiment
30 Lynching
31 Hollywood stereotypes
32 Indian Appropriations Acts
33 Immigration Act of 1924
34 Sundown towns
35 Chinese Exclusion Act
36 Emmett Till
37 Vincent Chin
38 Islamophobia
39 Indian boarding schools
40 King Philip’s War
41 Bacon’s Rebellion
42 American slavery compared to Arab, Roman and Latin American slavery
43 History of the gun
44 History of the police
45 History of prisons
46 History of white suburbia
47 Lincoln’s racism and anti-racism
48 George Wallace Governor of Alabama
49 Cointelpro
50 Dotbusters
51 School tracking
52 Mass incarceration of black men
53 Boston school busing riots
54. Man made Ebola and A.I.D.S.
55  Church Bombings and fires in deep south to Blacks
56. Church Shootings
57. How the Irish and Italians became white
58. The Perpetuation of the idea of the “model minority
59. Housing discrimination
60. Systematic placement of highways and building projects to create ghettos
61. Medical experimentation on poor PoC (people of color) especially Blacks (including surgical and gynecological experimentation)
62. History of Planned Parenthood
63. Forced Sterilization
64. Cutting children out of pregnant Black mothers as part of lynchings
65. Eurocentric beauty standard falsification
66. Erasure and eradication of all achievements of Ancient Africa and Kemet
67. White-washing of history and cultural practices of PoC
68. Media manipulation and bias
69. Perpetuation of the myth of reverse racism
70. The history of white cannibalism
71. White Fragility
72. Indian Removal Act
73. Red Summer of 1919
74. Compromise of 1877
75. The Assassination of Dr King

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And a perspective about Black History Month from Zipporah LeGarde:

Black History Month, as well as other history months based on racial history, aren’t racist. BHM is no more racist than Breast Cancer Awareness month is discriminatory against other types of cancer. Racism is defined as privilege plus power, and something that uses racial lines to instill a hierarchy in society, usually with white on the top. So, from a sociological standpoint, only Euro-Americans can exercise racism, but racial minorities can only be prejudiced.

That being said, the purpose of these months is to highlight the contributions racial minorities have made to the fabric of America. Some of you believe we don’t “need” these months, bringing up what Morgan Freeman said (regardless of the fact most black and other minority intellectuals have written countless articles rebuffing his point of view. Sorry y’all, Freeman is an actor, not a race scholar, and doesn’t speak for the entire black race – we are not monolithic in our blackness). But you’re not looking at the larger picture. Tell me when, in school, you learned about a minority in history that wasn’t Harriet Tubman, MLK, George W. Carver, *maybe* Malcolm X, you see the point? And you *probably* learned about them during BMH.

Black History IS American History, and if our educational system made more of an effort to incorporate minorities (including women) into the story of how America came to be, it would then be unnecessary. But to say it’s racist not only is a gross misunderstanding of what racism actually is, but totally ignores the fact our educational system is highly Euro-centric. When you’re a racial, gender, or a member of other minority group, it means a lot to have positive models from your camp, to let you know you can achieve what they did, that you can be as successful.

Hidden Dragon

Many moons ago, I was in a long-term relationship with a verbally, emotionally & eventually physically abusive young man. Several years into our relationship, while working for a company that occasionally had seminars about various health issues, he came across a pamphlet describing bipolar disorder. He brought it to me, believing that he was suffering from it. After reading it over, I agreed. Towards the end of our relationship as his behavior worsened, I started to research more & saw he had something far worse: Malignant Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Over the recent years, mostly in part due to modern technology & social media, more & more incidents of police brutality have been captured & highlighted, the most recent being the incident at Spring Valley High School, and the actions of Daniel Holtzclaw. During my research on my ex’s disorder, I discovered information on several studies concluding that a large population of people in powerful, high-ranking & influential positions, such as CEO’s, managers, police officers, military, professors, actors, politicians, judges, pastors & others, are malignant narcissists. Even an investigative piece on Officer.com, a site for police officers, talks about this.

Studies have also claimed that 1-3 out of every 20 people you meet are a sociopath or psychopath at some level. Malignant narcissists qualify as psychopaths. Here is a list of 20 common traits (Keep in mind that some of these traits exist in people who do not have MNPD. If a person has at least 12 out of the 20, they most likely do):

1. THE PATHOLOGICAL LIAR — skillfully deceptive & very convincing. Avoids accountability by making up diversions, new lies, bluffs or threats when questioned. His memory is self-serving as he denies past statements.

Defense Strategy: Verify his words. Do not reveal anything about yourself – he’ll use it against you. Head for the door when things don’t add up. Don’t ask him questions – you’ll only be inviting more lies.

2. THE CONTRACT BREAKER — agrees to anything, then turns around & does the opposite. Marriage, Legal, Custody agreements, normal social/personal protocols are meaningless. This con artist will accuse you of being the contract breaker. Enjoys orchestrating legal action & playing the role of the ‘poor me’ victim.

Defense Strategy: Expect him to disregard any agreement. Have Plan B in place. Protect yourself financially & emotionally.

3. THE HIGH ROLLER — Successfully plows & backstabs his way to the top. His family a disposable prop in his success facade. Is charismatic, eloquent & intelligent in his field, but often fakes abilities & credentials. Needs to have iron-fisted control, relying on his manipulation skills. Will ruthlessly support, exploit or target others in pursuit of his ever-changing agenda. Mercilessly abuses the power of his position. Uses treachery or terrorism to rule or govern. Potential problem or failure situations are delegated to others. A vindictive bully in the office with no social or personal conscience. Often suspicious & paranoid. Others may support him to further their own Mephistophelean objectives, but this wheeler-dealer leaves them holding the bag. Disappears quickly when consequences loom.

Defense Strategy: Keep your references & resume up to date. Don’t get involved in anything illegal. Document thoroughly to protect yourself. Thwarting them may backlash with a cascade of retaliation. Be on the lookout & spot them running for office & vote them out. Educate yourself about corporate bullies.

4. THE SEXUAL NARCISSIST — is often hypersexual (male or female). Pornography, masturbation, incest are reported by his targets. Anything, anyone, young, old, male/female, are there for his gratification. This predator takes what is available. Can have a preference for ‘sado-maso’ sexuality. Often easily bored, he demands increasingly deviant stimulation. However, another behavior exists, the one who withholds sex or emotional support.

Defense Strategy: Expect this type to try to degrade you. Get away from him. Expect him to tell lies about your sexuality to evade exposure of his own.

5. THE BLAME-GAME NARCISSIST — never accepts responsibility. Blames others for his failures & circumstances. A master at projection.

Defense Strategy: Learn about projection. Don’t take the bait when he blames you. He made the mess let him clean it up.

6. THE VIOLENT NARCISSIST — is a wife-Beater, Murderer, Serial Killer, Stalker & Terrorist. Has a ‘chip-on-his-shoulder’ attitude. He lashes out & destroys or uses others (particularly women & children) as scapegoats for his aggression or revenge. He has poor impulse control. Fearless & guiltless, he shows bad judgment. He anticipates betrayal, humiliation or punishment, imagines rejection & will reject first to ‘get it over with’. He will harass & push to make you pay attention to him & get a reaction. He will try to make you look out of control. Can become dangerous & unpredictable. Has no remorse or regard for the rights of others.

Defense Strategy: Don’t antagonize or tip your hand you’re leaving. Ask for help from the police & shelters.

7. THE CONTROLLER/MANIPULATOR — pits people against each other. Keeps his allies & targets separated. Is verbally skillful at twisting words & actions. Is charismatic & usually gets his way. Often undermines our support network & discourages us from seeing our family & friends. Money is often his objective. Other people’s money is even better. He is ruthless, demanding & cruel. This control-freak bully wants you pregnant, isolated & financially dependent on him. Appears pitiful, confused & in need of help. We rush in to help him with our finances, assets, & talents. We may be used as his proxy interacting with others on his behalf as he sets us up to take the fall or enjoys the performance he is directing.

Defense Strategy: Know the ‘nature of the beast’. Facing his failure & consequences will be his best lesson. Be suspicious of his motives & avoid involvement. Don’t bail him out.

8. THE SUBSTANCE ABUSER — Alcohol, drugs, you name it, he does it. We see his over-indulgence in food, exercise or sex & his need for instant gratification. Will want you to do likewise.

Defense Strategy: Don’t sink to his level. Say No.

9. OUR “SOUL MATE” — is cunning & knows who to select & who to avoid. He will come on strong, sweep us off our feet. He seems to have the same values, interests, goals, philosophies, tastes & habits. He admires our intellect, ambition, honesty & sincerity. He wants to marry us quickly. He fakes integrity, appears helpful, comforting, generous in his ‘idealization’ of us phase. It never lasts. Eventually Jekyll turns into Hyde. His discarded victims suffer emotional & financial devastation. He will very much enjoy the double-dipping attention he gets by cheating. We end the relationship & salvage what we can, or we are discarded quickly as he attaches to a “new perfect soul mate”. He is an opportunistic parasite. Our “Knight in Shining Armor” has become our nightmare. Our healing is lengthy.

Defense Strategy: Seek therapy. Learn about this disorder. Know the red flags of their behavior, & “If he seems too good to be true…” Hide the hurt you feel. Never let him see it. Be watchful for the Internet predator.

10. THE QUIET NARCISSIST — is socially withdrawn, often dirty & unkempt. Odd thinking is observed. Used as a disguise to appear pitiful to obtain whatever he can,

11. THE SADIST — is now the fully unmasked malignant narcissist. His objective is watching us dangle as he inflicts emotional, financial, physical & verbal cruelty. His enjoyment is all too obvious. He’ll be back for more. His pleasure is in getting away with taking other people’s assets. His target: women, children, the elderly, anyone vulnerable.

Defense Strategy: Accept the Jekyll/Hyde reality. Make a “No Contact’ rule. Avoid him altogether. End any avenue of vulnerability. Don’t allow thoughts of his past ‘good guy’ image to lessen the reality of his disorder.

12. THE RAGER — flies off the handle for little or no provocation. Has a severely disproportionate overreaction. Childish tantrums. His rage can be intimidating. He wants control, attention & compliance. In our hurt & confusion we struggle to make things right. Any reaction is his payoff. He seeks both good or bad attention. Even our fear, crying, yelling, screaming, name-calling, hatred are his objectives. If he can get attention by cruelty he will do so.

Defense Strategy: Manage your responses. Be fully independent. Don’t take the bait of his verbal abuse. Expect emotional hurt. Violence is possible.

13. THE BRAINWASHER — is very charismatic. He is able to manipulate others to obtain status, control, compliance, money, attention. Often found in religion & politics. He masterfully targets the naive, vulnerable, uneducated or mentally weak.

Defense Strategy: Learn about brainwashing techniques. Listen to your gut instinct. Avoid them.

14. THE RISK-TAKING THRILL-SEEKER — never learns from his past follies & bad judgment. Poor impulse control is a hallmark.

Defense Strategy: Don’t get involved. Use your own good judgment. Say No.

15. THE PARANOID NARCISSIST — is suspicious of everything usually for no reason. Terrified of exposure & may be dangerous if threatened. Suddenly ends relationships if he anticipates exposure or abandonment.

Defense Strategy: Give him no reason to be suspicious of you. Let some things slide. Protect yourself if you anticipate violence.

16. THE IMAGE MAKER — will flaunt his ‘toys’, his children, his wife, his credentials & accomplishments. Admiration, attention, even glances from others, our envy or our fear are his objective. He is never satisfied. We see his arrogance & haughty strut, as he demands center stage. He will alter his mask at will to appear pitiful, inept, solicitous, concerned, or haughty & superior. Appears the perfect father, husband & friend – to those outside his home.

Defense Strategy: Ignore his childlike behaviors. Know his payoff is getting attention, deceiving or abusing others. Provide him with ‘supply’ to avert problems.

17. THE EMOTIONAL VACUUM — is the cruelest blow of all. We learn his lack of empathy. He has deceived us by his cunning ability to mimic human emotions. We are left numbed by the realization. It is incomprehensible & painful. We now remember times we saw his cold vacant eyes & when he showed odd reactions. Those closest to him become objectified & expendable.

Defense Strategy: Face the reality. They can deceive trained professionals.

18. THE SAINTLY NARCISSIST — proclaims high moral standing. Accuses others of immorality. “Hang ’em high” he says about the murderer on the 6:00 news. This hypocrite lies, cheats, schemes, corrupts, abuses, deceives, controls, manipulates & torments while portraying himself of high morals.

Defense Strategy: Learn the red flags of behavior. Be suspicious of people claiming high morals. Can be spotted at a church near you.

19. THE CALLING-CARD NARCISSIST — forewarns his targets. Early in the relationship he may ‘slip up’ revealing his nature saying “You need to protect yourself around me” or “Watch out, you never know what I’m up to.” We laugh along with him & misinterpret his words. Years later, coping with the devastation left behind, his victims recall the chilling warning.

Defense Strategy: Know the red flags & be suspicious of the intentions of others.

20. THE PENITENT NARCISSIST — says, “I’ve behaved horribly, I’ll change, I love you, I’ll go to therapy.” Appears to ‘come clean’ admitting past abuse & asking forgiveness. Claims we are at fault & need to change too. The sincerity of his words & actions appear convincing. We learn his words are verbal hooks. He knows our vulnerabilities & what buttons to push. We question our judgment about his disorder. We can disregard “Fool me once…” We hope for change & minimize past abuse. With a successful retargeting attempt, he will enjoy his second reign of terror even more if we allow him back in our lives.

Defense Strategy: Expect this. Self-impose a “No Contact” rule. Focus on the reality of his disorder. Journal past abusive behavior to remind yourself. Join a support group.

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Of course the best thing to do is to permanently remove these types of people from your life. However, this is not always possible in the instance they are a family member, boss, etc. There is a self-proclaimed narcissist, Dr. Sam Vaknin, who has a site with tons of information about this disorder & gives advice on how to properly deal with people with MNPD if/when that is the case. There is also a documentary film called The Corporation that actually details these traits, applying them to common practices among many big businesses, being that corporations, under the 14th Amendment, are deemed as individuals.

My hope is that this disorder becomes more well known. There are far too many people in power who have the ability to deeply negatively impact so many peoples lives — they need to be outed & removed from their positions. It would make the World a far better place…

White Fragility 2

Factors that inculcate White Fragility
Segregation
The first factor leading to White Fragility is the segregated lives which most white people live. Even if whites live in physical proximity to PoC (& this would be exceptional outside of an urban or temporarily mixed class neighborhood), segregation occurs on multiple levels, including representational & informational. Because whites live primarily segregated lives in a white-dominated society, they receive little or no authentic information about racism & are thus unprepared to think about it critically or with complexity. Growing up in segregated environments (schools, workplaces, neighborhoods, media images & historical perspectives), white interests & perspectives are almost always central, resulting in an inability to see or consider significance in the perspectives of PoC.

Further, white people are taught not to feel any loss over the absence of PoC in their lives & in fact, this absence is what defines their schools & neighborhoods as “good;” whites come to understand that a “good school” or “good neighborhood” is coded language for “white”. The quality of white space being in large part measured via the absence of PoC (Blacks in particular) is a profound message indeed, one that is deeply internalized & reinforced daily through normalized discourses about good schools & neighborhoods. This dynamic of gain rather than loss via racial segregation may be the most profound aspect of white racial socialization of all. Yet, while discourses about what makes a space good are tacitly understood as racially coded, this coding is explicitly denied by whites.


Universalism & Individualism
Whites are taught to see their perspectives as objective & representative of reality. The belief in objectivity, coupled with positioning white people as outside of culture (& thus the norm for humanity), allows whites to view themselves as universal humans who can represent all of human experience. This is evidenced through an unracialized identity or location, which functions as a kind of blindness; an inability to think about Whiteness as an identity or as a “state” of being that would or could have an impact on one’s life. In this position, Whiteness is not recognized or named by white people & a universal reference point is assumed. White people are just people. Within this construction, whites can represent humanity, while PoC, who are never just people but always most particularly black people, Asian people, etc., can only represent their own racialized experiences.

The discourse of universalism functions similarly to the discourse of individualism but instead of declaring that we all need to see each other as individuals (everyone is different), the person declares that we all need to see each other as human beings (everyone is the same). Of course we are all humans & I do not critique universalism in general, but when applied to racism, universalism functions to deny the significance of race & the advantages of being white. Further, universalism assumes that whites & PoC have the same realities, the same experiences in the same contexts (i.e. I feel comfortable in this majority white classroom, so you must too), the same responses from others & assumes that the same doors are open to all. Acknowledging racism as a system of privilege conferred on whites challenges claims to universalism.


At the same time that whites are taught to see their interests & perspectives as universal, they are also taught to value the individual & to see themselves as individuals rather than as part of a racially socialized group. Individualism erases history & hides the ways in which wealth has been distributed & accumulated over generations to benefit whites today. It allows whites to view themselves as unique & original, outside of socialization & unaffected by the relentless racial messages in the culture. Individualism also allows whites to distance themselves from the actions of their racial group & demand to be granted the benefit of the doubt, as individuals, in all cases.

 A corollary to this unracialized identity is the ability to recognize Whiteness as something that is significant & that operates in society, but to not see how it relates to one’s own life. In this form, a white person recognizes Whiteness as real, but as the individual problem of other “bad” white people. Given the ideology of individualism, whites often respond defensively when linked to other whites as a group or “accused” of collectively benefiting from racism, because as individuals, each white person is “different” from any other white person & expects to be seen as such. This narcissism is not necessarily the result of a consciously held belief that whites are superior to others (although that may play a role), but a result of the white racial insulation ubiquitous in dominant culture; a general white inability to see non-white perspectives as significant, except in sporadic & impotent reflexes, which have little or no long-term momentum or political usefulness.
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Whites invoke these seemingly contradictory discourses—we are either all unique or we are all the same—interchangeably. Both discourses work to deny white privilege & the significance of race. Further, on the cultural level, being an individual or being a human outside of a racial group is a privilege only afforded to white people. In other words, PoC are almost always seen as “having a race” & described in racial terms (“the black man”) but whites rarely are (“the man”), allowing whites to see themselves as objective & non-racialized. In turn, being seen (& seeing ourselves) as individuals outside of race frees whites from the psychic burden of race in a wholly racialized society. Race & racism become their problems, not ours. Challenging these frameworks becomes a kind of unwelcome shock to the system.


The disavowal of race as an organizing factor, both of individual white consciousness & the institutions of society at large, is necessary to support current structures of capitalism & domination, for without it, the correlation between the distribution of social resources & unearned white privilege would be evident. The existence of structural inequality undermines the claim that privilege is simply a reflection of hard work & virtue. Therefore, inequality must be hidden or justified as resulting from lack of effort. Individualism accomplishes both of these tasks. At the same time, the individual presented as outside these relations cannot exist without its disavowed other. Thus, an essential dichotomy is formed between specifically raced others & the unracialized individual. Whites have deep investments in race, for the abstract depends on the particular; they need raced others as the backdrop against which they may rise. Exposing this dichotomy destabilizes white identity.


Entitlement to racial comfort
In the dominant position, whites are almost always racially comfortable & thus have developed unchallenged expectations to remain so. Whites have not had to build tolerance for racial discomfort & thus when racial discomfort arises, whites typically respond as if something is “wrong,” & blame the person or event that triggered the discomfort (usually a person of color). This blame results in a socially-sanctioned array of counter-moves against the perceived source of the discomfort, including: penalization; retaliation; isolation; ostracization & refusal to continue engagement. Whites insistence on racial comfort ensures that racism will not be faced. This insistence also functions to punish those who break white codes of comfort. Whites often confuse comfort with safety & state that we don’t feel safe when what we really mean is that we don’t feel comfortable. This trivializes our history of brutality towards PoC & perverts the reality of that history. Because we don’t think complexly about racism, we don’t ask ourselves what safety means from a position of societal dominance, or the impact on PoC, given our history, for whites to complain about our safety when we are merely talking about racism.
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Racial Arrogance
Ideological racism includes strongly positive images of the white self as well as strongly negative images of racial “others”. This self-image engenders a self-perpetuating sense of entitlement because many whites believe their financial & professional successes are the result of their own efforts while ignoring the fact of white privilege. Because most whites have not been trained to think complexly about racism in schools or mainstream discourse & because it benefits white dominance not to do so, we have a very limited understanding of racism. Yet dominance leads to racial arrogance & in this racial arrogance, whites have no compunction about debating the knowledge of people who have thought complexly about race. Whites generally feel free to dismiss these informed perspectives rather than have the humility to acknowledge that they are unfamiliar, reflect on them further, or seek more information. This intelligence & expertise are often trivialized & countered with simplistic platitudes (i.e. “People just need to…”).
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Because of white social, economic & political power within a white dominant culture, whites are positioned to legitimize PoC’s assertions of racism. Yet whites are the least likely to see, understand, or be invested in validating those assertions & being honest about their consequences, which leads whites to claim that they disagree with perspectives that challenge their worldview, when in fact, they don’t understand the perspective.Thus, they confuse not understanding with not agreeing. This racial arrogance, coupled with the need for racial comfort, also has whites insisting that PoC explain white racism in the “right” way. The right way is generally politely & rationally, without any show of emotional upset. When explained in a way that white people can see & understand, racism’s validity may be granted (references to dynamics of racism that white people do not understand are usually rejected out of hand). However, whites are usually more receptive to validating white racism if that racism is constructed as residing in individual white people other than themselves.

Continued below: See White Fragility 3

Reverse Racism: DEBUNKED

Racism consists of both prejudice & discrimination based on social perceptions of biological differences between peoples. It often takes the form of social actions, practices or beliefs, or political systems that consider different races to be ranked as inherently superior or inferior to each other, based on presumed shared inheritable traits, abilities, or qualities.

Prejudice is a feeling of dislike towards a racial or ethnic group & discrimination is action taken to harm those whom you have prejudices against. The only persons on the planet who suffer from institutionalized prejudices are people of color (PoC), i.e. those of African descent, indigenous peoples, ‘Mexicans‘ & Asians (including those that are mixed with one or more of these ethnic groups), under the guise of white supremacy.

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Historically & including modern society, all of these groups have been oppressed based solely on their race/ethnicity by those who had the power & strong enough desire to do so: white people. Via laws, social norms, ideals & customs, discrimination has been institutionalized & has been able to continue by shared beliefs in white supremacy, which rationalizes racist actions & mindsets. White privilege is the fact that all white people benefit from the ongoing legacy of practiced racism (whether they are personally racist or not). Those who do not believe that white privilege exists are those who are enjoying the benefits of it. White people often tell black people not to attribute slavery to their current situations & positions despite the fact that slavery & the following systematic racism is how whites got into theirs!

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Reverse racism does not exist because PoC do not have any institutions in operation that specifically work against whites that they are able to benefit from, nor is there any historical evidence to suggest that any attempts to do so by PoC have ever been made. The reverse racism theory was concocted as a weak defense for white supremacist ideals. The reverse of racism would be NO racism at all, would it not? Some PoC are indeed prejudiced against whites, but even that is mainly based on generation after generation of them living under the institutionalized racism that is white supremacy. It’s not like racism, which is irrational & oppressive.

None of us asked to be born, nor did we get to choose our race. We are not responsible for the actions of our ancestors, but today’s whites do hold responsibility for allowing white supremacy to continue. If you’re not part of the solution, you are part of the problem. So just living comfortably within white privilege without actively attempting to put racism to an end makes you no better than your predecessors who crafted it.

Being able to enjoy the benefits of white privilege does not mean that all white peoples lives are, or have the capability of being ‘perfect’ – everyone has problems. That doesn’t mean that the benefits can’t be reaped in the other various layers of a white persons life. Having an inherit unfair advantage doesn’t mean you’ll always win. There are lots of minorities who are doing far better than many whites. Whites can face oppression too via sexism & homophobia (just like straight black men are able to benefit from straight & male privileges), but they cannot face oppression based on their race alone because again, there isn’t any racism being institutionalized against them (not even the Irish). There’s really no debating who is being oppressed more (& in much harsher ways) than who; that is crystal clear…

Programs like welfare & Affirmative Action, or the NAACP (which was actually established & controlled by white Jews) were enacted to help people overcome the obstacle of institutionalized racism (not to expand racial inequalities or seek preferential treatment), but they have not succeeded in eliminating white supremacy & about 40% of welfare recipients are whites & that’s who welfare was originally erected to help, not PoC. There is no doubt in my mind that many whites are more than happy to pay into the welfare system, which many times has the tendency to cause it’s recipients to become apathetic. This retains them in low income neighborhoods, which keeps them out of many predominately white, economically sound communities. Quoting Dick Gregory, regarding the term neighborhood: a hood is something you put over something else that you don’t want anybody to see. They’d much rather PoC be in the slums & out of their sight, than living just as well as them & their children playing with & procreating with their sons & daughters.

Claiming to be “colorblind” (to not recognize people by their race at all) is actually quite disrespectful & also an act of racism. It prevents people from acknowledging & being sympathetic to all the struggles of PoC, erasing their cultures, history & personal experiences. Pretending that we’re all equal now because Obama is POTUS & Oprah is a billionaire & that just not talking about race at all will make racism magically go away, is a less than half-assed attempt to rid the world of racial injustices. Different ethnic backgrounds & cultures are real & do exist, so to be colorblind (albeit well intentioned) & overlook them is to deny part of a persons identity & is passively racist. Diversity is not the root of racism, white supremacy is.

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So if you’re white & reading this, now fully aware of your privilege & that reverse racism is nothing more than a myth & you are genuinely a decent person, you will use your privileges to help put an end to white supremacy. This requires reeducating other whites who are in denial & actively pursing other ways to stop racial injustices from continuing. Without such efforts, true equality will never exist!

If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor ~ Desmond Tutu

My Sister’s Keeper

No other woman is my competition! My hope is that we ALL make it!!

yemaya20y20ochunIn the Chakra chart below, the right side shows the physical consequences of when women do not have their spiritual (left side of chart) lives in balance. Yoga, meditation, healing stones & a pH balanced diet will all work to counter those consequences, but it’s still equally important to try keeping our emotional states in check. We are what we eat & that includes emotions & thoughts…

woman-in-lotus-positionMany of these factors are outside of ourselves, out of our control & at the helm of others, so it’s also equally important that we take care of each other, so as not to throw our fellow Kings & Queens off their spiritual balance, nor our little Princes & Princesses.

As you see, when our partnerships &/or relationships are nonexistent, weak, broken, or abusive, our self esteem is damaged; if we hate our jobs, have overwhelming responsibilities or financial troubles; feel unwanted or under-appreciated, those issues can trigger us to make poor lifestyle choices, including our diets, which leads to high blood pressure, various cancers (an epidemic in this country), weight gain/loss, drug & alcohol addictions, lowered fertility, uterine fibroid tumors, depression, back pain, breakouts & a weakened immune system, amongst other health problems.

When men abuse (eliminating our sense of safety), disrespect or degrade (altering our perception & morality), cheat on (damaging our self esteem & sense of security), ignore or withhold affection (ruining our sense of belonging & feelings of appreciation), it can literally kill us ladies over time. It works the same in reverse or when we do it to ourselves, or to other women.

POOPSide-chicks have no place in the healing & uplifting of our Queens. I’d like to believe that the above meme is not true. I believe that most women who choose to assume a #2 position are very damaged themselves & that through personal growth & healing, they can change their destructive ways. A woman of substance that truly loves herself would never accept such a position, and if a man truly loved a woman, he would never allow or expect her to.

Some women are sociopaths & lack the empathy necessary to care about the damage they are participating in causing when getting involved with a man already in a relationship. Some are too hurt themselves to consider the feelings of others &/or afraid to get a man of their own, so being a mere side-chick will prevent them from getting hurt again. They may believe they are in a safe & even superior position by being the side-chick, because they may get a satisfying enough amount time, attention, affection & money/gifts – all without the responsibilities & stress the girlfriend/wife has at home.

In some instances, it may not be a self-esteem issue, but actually one of an inflated ego. They may just enjoy the excitement of having the attention of another woman’s man. A woman without any real substance will take so much pride in her looks & sex appeal that it blinds her to see that’s all she is worth to that man, not [yet] realizing her true value. My hope is that ALL women of such levels of mediocrity will discover or develop their self worth, leaving men without the option to betray their wives & girlfriends.

Of course, it is ultimately the responsibility of the persons within the relationship to keep up their side of the deal & to protect each other from hurt. I am not in any way relieving the cheating partner of their obligations by placing more of the blame on the sidepiece; I believe they are equally wrong in their actions & therefore equally responsible for the pain that they cause. I find both their actions deplorable, especially when there are children involved.

Us Queens have to support each other, uplift each other, take care of ourselves & stop hating on each other, stop fucking each others men (or women), competing with each other & fighting each other because no real positive changes or true unity will ever happen if we don’t! It begins with US!

The Miseducation of… Basically EVERYTHING

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“…Showing off your ass ’cause you thinking it’s a trend… It’s silly when girls sell their souls because it’s in… Hair weaves like Europeans, fake nails done by Koreans… Come again”

Songstress Lauryn Hill’s Doo Wop – That Thing dropped 16 years ago & her lyrics are even more relevant & needed today than when it released. Instead of retreating away from the culture of obsession with image, society has dove in even deeper in the age of real-time media: Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, etc. Women & girls all over the World spend billions of dollars & thousands of hours every year on artificial enhancements & surgeries – sometimes risking & losing their lives – to look like something they are not, to attract the type of attention they don’t really need.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to look nice, but it’s whole other level when you can find endless photos & videos of young ladies & girls all over social media trying to garner the most looks & likes, as if their self-worth depended on it. Needing to validate themselves by how many people out there want to sex them, or wished they looked like them. Wanting to be admired for being a Barbie or a ‘bad bitch’, rather than a Queen or a phenomenal woman. Being more prideful & worrisome over the contour of their eyebrows, waist & size of their hips, than in the content of their character, health, or finding purpose in life.

If you are unfamiliar with who Sarah Baartman is, she was a South African slave who was featured nude in a traveling circus around London & Paris, catering to Europeans fascination with her physical African attributes, mainly her large butt, which some deemed an abnormality. She was led around stage like a wild animal, by her ‘keeper’ who’d have her walk, stand or sit when ordered. During this time, she was assumed to be the “missing link” by Napoleon’s surgeon-general, who upon her death in 1816, cast her body in wax & her remains were displayed in a Paris museum until 1974. In 1994, then president Nelson Mandela made an appeal to the French to retrieve her, but it wasn’t until 2002 that their senate approved a bill for her to be repatriationed back to South Africa, where she was finally laid to rest in the Eastern Cape.

Today, African women are exploited similarly in more modern circuses, known as talk & reality television shows. Celebrity obsession, pop culture, rap music, photoshop, womens & teen magazines, pageants, bullies & other factors have all contributed to this image & attention obsessed epidemic our current generation is facing. The difference between these practices amongst women of African descent & most other races is, many times when undergoing these beauty techniques, African women are also killing their sense of identity. Those are the girls L. Boogie was calling out, asking to ‘come again’. Millions of them are avoiding sun exposure & bleaching their skin, perming their hair & wearing weaves in any & every texture except for that of their real, natural hair. They are constantly celebrating & striving towards other races natural beauty, while failing to embrace their own.

Even Beyonce, as gorgeous as she is, has had a nose job & admitted to wishing that she was born Latina. I don’t believe it’s because she actually hates being African, but because she favors their natural beauty over her own. Sadly, there are hundreds of thousands of young black girls & women that feel the same way – boys & men as well. Many of us have been conditioned to & not just via mainstream media, but sometimes even by our very own friends & family. This destructive conditioning has been passed down through the generations ever since the days of slavery. My father used to live in New York City & had been to black nightclubs where they would do a ‘paper bag test’, not letting in any patrons whose skin tones were darker than a brown paper bag.

Our ancestors in Africa did not discriminate against each other in such ways. Looking at their artwork & hieroglyphics, they celebrated all their various shades of brown & hair textures equally! Like Lauryn, I want my fellow sisters to realize that their natural features are just as beautiful as the ones they are hiding them with & that there are much more meaningful things in life to worry about than how big your butt is, how well you can twerk & how many followers & likes you can get. There is more to you than meets the eye

“How you gonna win when you ain’t right within? …………Come again”

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